ok, ok...i know...i'm neglectful

Ok, so let's see...what been going on in the last four months, huh?? A hellovalot, that's fo sho. Well, let's see...it hasn't been that too too long since the last time that I have written something on here....but I just didn't publish them for the public...they were for me...ok so yeah...my life...I don't really know what's been wrong with me these past couple of weeks, but I seem to be stuck in a rut. I'm all mopey and whiney and I don't want to be that way. Yesterday I was crying like all day and it was my birthday. I cried after I fought with my mom, I cried in the shower, I cried while I was getting ready, I cried when I opened presents, I cried when Lindsey's mom called to wish me a happy birthday...are you noticing a pattern here?? Sad, huh?? And I don't have anything to be so unhappy about. I got a lot going for me right now, so I don't know why I'm not happy. I don't want to be so moody, b/c I've always prided myself on not being that particular female stereotype, but now I can't seem to escape it. It's a great time to become emotional too, you know with two retreats coming up...yeah...Grrrr...yeah so what else has been happening...I'm not yet freaking out about all that I have to do before the semester ends, even though I should be, which probably isn't good, because if I'm not obsessing about shit getting dome then chances are it won't get done. I'm just a little ray of sunshine, aren't I?? When did I become so cynical?? I don't know...maybe I should just simply go to sleep and sleep for a long time. Then maybe after waking, things will be as they should and my life won't contain so many unanswerable questions....ok, I'll wipe my tears and go on and try to have a less depressing attitude in the mext months. I'll also try not to let it be quite so long before my next post...i'm sure you're all so excited to know that.