Exciting news in the not-so-exciting world o' Smess

Let's see...what's been going on in my life...well pretty crazy stuff as usual...oh yeah and on another note...Dave, I didn't get a comment from you...you got my hopes up and then you left me hanging...I'm not sure what happened, but there was no comment from you or anybody for that matter. But oh well, you should try harder this time. Right now I'm in the 'brary taking a break from planning my art lesson for tomorrow...little nervous right now. I don't know, I have a million thoughts running through my head that have been there all day. I'm not sure what's going on in my life but hopefully I can figure it out soon. I'm thinking a lot about the conversation that I had with Dave last night/this morning and trying to make sense about what he said. (Believe me, it's hard...just joshin' Dave, I love ya!) I have this mind set that nobody really misses me when I'm not around and that people don't really notice when I am. This is probably part of the reason (although not most of it) that I can't go away to school. I don't like the idea that nobody would miss me and I think that if they didn't it would be to hard. So I don't know. This time last year I was praying for a group of girl friends and now I find myself praying for just one person to want to be my best friend (and although I'm Miller's friend of the month, it's just not the same) I don't know maybe I'm just in major boyfriend mode because I want someone to call me and tell me good nite and that they're thinking of me. I want someone to ask how my day went, stuff like that. I don't know, but if this is just a boyfriend mode thing then I hope I get over it soon or someone asks me out or something. That's what I've been praying for also a lot lately. To either have God take away the lonliness or to give me someone to take it away or at least give me a sign and that's what the last blog was about. I asked for a sign and I thought that He gave it to me, but after observing the thing closer, He must be crazy if He wants me to follow through with it because I'm just going to get hurt...but I don't know...I wonder how many times I said "I don't know" in this blog but oh well, the truth is, I really don't and that's all I really do know...man this was a depressing blog...oh well, it happens.

Who let the dawgs out??

I have no idea where that title came from, just tryin to make it more interesting for those who are actually reading it. (Dave I think I made it so you can post, but I might not have, but I think so, so give it a try). So what's going on in the life of Sarah??...??...who knows, certainly not me. I must have found at least somewhat of a life because I definitely don't have a whole lot of time to kill anymore. Now I'm just hanging out at Schalk's (I just got done studying and doing my journals for our night class) and I'm just killin a few minutes before I have to go to work. I really missed my kids during fall break and it was good to have them back yesterday. All of our curicullum stuff came in over break and so now I actually have stuff to plan and do with the kids instead of just making up stupid little crafts for them to do. We have 3 days a week of Kids Lit which consists of reading a book and then doing activities to get them thinking and then making something or doing something based on the play. We also have one day a week to work on Character Counts which teaches them how they should treat one another and themselves. Today we are working on Respect. Also one day a week, we have to do a Service Learning project. We are just now choosing the project this Fri. and because I know my kids so well, I bet that I know which one they are going to pick. I can't wait. This is really starting to look like I can control my kids and maybe even teach them something. Now that I have bored you all to tears about my job (which I am starting to like again, can ya tell?? :o) I'll move on to another topic. Nel's talk on Sun. really got me thinking a lot. It amazes me how a couple of words can mean so much to someone. I love all of my friends and even though I've been feeling really lonely lately it really means a lot when you get appreciated like that. Schalk once told me that she only had one goal in her life that needed to be fulfilled and that was that she wanted to touch one person. It's really cool when someone tells you that you've touched them because you really didn't know. It makes you feel wothwhile. I don't know, it makes me feel like I do actually have a purpose on this crazy life. I've been praying a lot lately for signs to let me know about a couple of this and after months I get the sign and I get really excited only to find out that it was wrong. I don't understand this and I know that I shouldn't even try to pretent to understand God's plan for me, but I don't know. And therefore, I don't know what to think. Here's an example: Back in Jan. I prayed for a sign about something, I asked God that if it was to be, let me hear a certain song on the radio, it was a song that I used to hear about once a month or more and I associated with something. Then I didn't hear it for months...fast forward to present...I heard it last week, but what I thought was a sign that I had prayed for didn't "happen". Should I take this as a sign to "make it happen" or just chalk it up to coincidence. I don't know...hehe...and I actually don't know where I'm going with this, but I do have to leave, so I guess I'll leave it here for now and maybe try to add more later...

Another day....

Creative title, huh?? Ok, so at least I'm not being so much of a loser that I was a couple weeks ago...it's been a week since my last post. Now I'm just hangin' in the 'brary waiting for Schalk to call me to come hang out. I'm a little sore at the moment...I had a slight accident while painting my sister's kitchen, but with the exceptions of a few bumps, bruises and scratches, I'm ok...just sore. But anyways...the past week hasn't been that bad. My daddy's still healthy and doesn't need surgury yet, and I was told that I'm definitely getting help at work. Both good things. Sat. was kind of pathetic, but hey, only one totally pathetic day out of the week wasn't bad. Yesterday I spent like 45 min. at the airport viewing area which was actually pretty cool. I always have all these thoughts racing through my brain and I was able to sort through a lot of them. I also talked to the G-Dawg because I was feeling guilty for not-so-much paying attension in church, but hey, it happens. I told Him that I'm really gonna try to talk to Him more because I've been cutting short our chats recently. I also got a lot of sleep last night which was friggin' awesome!! But yeah...I don't have a whole lot to say. I am really thankful for being off work this week too, It's amazing how much an extra 4 hours a day can make a difference. (These stools in the 'brary aren't so much comfortable, so I'd better be wrapping this up.) I am thinking about trying to double major in Elementary Edu and Special Edu. I know that I already had decided that Special Edu wasn't for me, but I'm rethinking it because of all the opportunities...I wouldn't have to have a job like Fishy did (because I know that I couldn't do that) or work with extremes, but I think that I could do mild cases, so I don't know. I'll have to see how many more years I'd have to be here for. So yeah, now the ars is definitely not feeling so good thanks to this damn stool, so I guess that's all for now. I still have a few more thoughts so add but since I'm not working this week, I'll same some for a day or two.