What'th happinin' now...

Yea!! I wasn't as much of a loser this week!! I haven't posted for awhile!! So let's see...what have I been doing and how was it....??...well, Last week wasn't bad. I didn't have as many kids as I have been having, which was cool. The weekend was really cool because I got to hang out with Dave and Fay more than normal, so that was fun. Retreat meetings...yada yada yada...not a whole lot of excitement. I'm still really confused about a lot of stuff right now. I decided (I think anyway, it may change) to hold off on entering the education program for another semester. This will put me at the even five year mark for college, which isn't bad (unless you talk to my mom who has a way of making me feel stupid and guilty about eveything I do-man I hate it when she does that.) But I'm still not sure this is where I'm "supposed" to be or if it's where I just sort of ended up. I really don't know. I'm scared that I'll regret not doing something different with my life...and now I have a song I'd like to share with you that really illustatrates how I'm feeling at the moment...hehe

Is There Life Out There

She married when she was twenty (ok, so I'm not married, but it get's better)
She thought she was ready
Now she's not so sure
She thought she'd done some living
But now she's just wonderin'
What she's living for
Now she's feeling that there's something more

Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there

She's always lived for tomorrow
She's never learned how
To live for today
She's dyin' to try something foolish
Do something crazy
Or just get away
Something for herself for a change

(Refrain)

There's a place in the sun that she's never been
Where life is fair and time is a friend
Would she do it the same as she did back then
She looks out the window and wonders again

(Refrain 2X)

So yeah...I don't know, I feel like I'm a broken record with the whole I'm going away to college/ I'm not going away to college, but I'm running out of chances. Just so many pros and cons for both options. I don't know what I want. I'm not independent in a lot of aspects but there's some people that I feel I need to be away from for awhile and I know I'll never get the chance while I remain here. It's the same old "Moving On" song too. I feel like I can't grow and discover who I am while I remain so unchanged for so long, and yet maybe I do belong here...grrr...no idea. I ask God for signs and sometimes I think He gives them to me, but what if I mistaking or misreading His signs...I don't know...
Oh well...I'll just piss and moan (name that flick) for awhile and try to sort through it all. But now it's time to go "off to school, off to school...." so until next time!