Twice in two days, I must be a loser!!
Wow, look at me, I'm really getting into this whole blog thingy!! Two days in a row. I don't even have a whole lot to say, I'm just bored. I should be studying, after all that was the reason I came to the library in the first place, but instead I'm reading others' blogs and updating my own (although not much to update) We had Celebration! last night and that was fun. I am really glad that I came back even though it took me awile to figure out that was where I needed to be. I was worried that I was only coming back because that C! was "something I did." Like I was coming back out of habit and nothing else. While I am sure that part of it was out of habit, I know that another part of it is because I still want to share myself with those crazy new kids. I really hope to be an asset this time because I'm not so sure I have been the past couple. I don't know. I'm not sure what God is calling me to do for this retreat or for that matter for Senior retreat. My stories have been told but I guess as much as I dislike it, if I get a talk then I will try my best. I just don't want to do the same sob story over and over again, it's been played enough by me. But hopefully I'll figure something out or at least be open to what others will figure out for me. After the meeting a bunch of us went to Miller's to watch the Bengals, it was a good game (although I don't even like football all that much) and actually, I might be going over there shortly to watch more football (doesn't anybody want to entertain me with something other than football??) I'm not sure I am going to go over there because although I love them all deeply, I don't always feel welcome in their group and sometimes that makes it hard for me to hang out with them. But oh well, I might not have time anyway since I still have to do that pesky study thing before I leave the 'brary. I guess that's all I have to say for now, and hopefully I'll actually get some studying done here in a few...man, I need to find some motivation somewhere.
posted by Smess @ 8:44 PM
1 Comments:
I guess I could be of assistance here. I don't want you to feel lonely, Cuzzin. I know how it is...I spent my whole first 4 years of high school freshman year of college in lonely-ville.
I haven't been a great friend for you lately. I've been so busy (trust me, I'd almost rather be bored!) that I've felt alone at times. I think it's just scheduling that puts you in the mindset of boredom. Whenever you're busy is when everyone else is together (spaghetti/Bingo Setup/etc.) and that can be misleading. Although in my second year of college I found many friendships @ NKU and spent a lot of time there, I was still lonely. I could think of little else, than everyone livin' it up in the 'brary while I was @TMC. It's a struggle, definitely. But you have the courage and foritude (strength) to get through it as I did. To tell you the truth, I felt closest to God during that time. Take the opportunity to make your relationship better. The rest of your relationships will follow suit.
As for being a teacher, DUH! Of course you're not ready! That's what teacher prep is all about. Heck, I'm student teaching right now (well, planning to be exact)and I don't know jack yet. I learn so much each day; it builds off of what I already learned in classes at school, but there's so much more to be learned even after I'm certified. Trust me on this one: You are more ready, and more driven now, than I was when I started in the education program. You'll be fine. And that activity with the kids was a great idea and very beneficial. Any time you can engage them like that, is not a waste.
Hope this was helpful, or at least entertaining!! ;)
~ Cuzzin
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