Perpetually Bored

Yes, it's Thursday nite and no I don't have school tomorrow and yes I am bored out of my mind...Pathetic much? But it's the story of my life. School wasn't horrible today, but I was reminded about my Bio test next Thurs and I'm not-so-much looking forward to it. Then off to work I went and I only had like 14 kids!! It was amazing. Although they still stressed me out 110%. I'm not so sure about the whole teaching thing and that scares me a whole lot because I honestly can't think of anything else I could actually do with my life. I'm such a loser and (grrr) can't do anything right. The kids were being so mean to one another and I thought up a "great" idea (only it didn't prove to be so great): I had all the kids write their name really big on a piece of paper and then everybody passes their papers to the right. Basically, everyone was to write something nice about everyone else in the group. I talked about Respect and the Golden Rule and everything. The kids seemed to love doing this..."Sarah can we keep going?" they asked even after everyone had written on everybody else's. Wow, this is a good sign I thought...But no...Before I could even collect the papers, they were being horrible to each other again. I really don't know if I can do this. I barely have one foot in and I'm sucking big time already. After work it was back to school and having to stay awake during IFS 105...Oh yeah there are some good times. I ran home for dinner and then I called Fay to come hang out with me. But no, he's busy...Everyone has a life but me...I drive myself crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like I have any friends and the ones I did have, all have better friends now. I wish I just had someone to talk to when I was feeling this lonely and unloved. And now to add to my pathetic life I am sitting in the library at NKU waiting to see if Dave or Fay show up after Bible study. I just want to feel apart of something again. I miss long talks about life or nothing at all. I miss just hanging out and being ok with nothing being said. I just wish I wasn't so pathetic and lonely.