So yeah...I know that I have been whiney on here the past few weeks, and I think I'm getting past that. I haven't been crying as much and although I haven't stopped feeling sorry for myself, I have lessoned the frequency of my pity parties. I've been listening to Staind a lot more, which always helps, I've been hanging out with friends more, I'm finished with my busy schedule for now. Life's not too shabby. I am trying not to think of all of the changes in my life because then I get scared and I'm not up for that right now. I'm just ready to live life as it comes. I'm ready for a summer of fun and preperation for whatever is in store for me. I think that another reason that I was anxious was because of problems at work, I was constantly on guard and worried, and that has greatly lessoned now as well. So yeah...back to Staind...I had forgotten how therapeutic they can be. I was never particularly a huge fan of 13 Shades of Grey, in terms of releasing emotion, but it's weird how much it applies to my life right now. I'll post some lyrics for ya in a bit. So yeah, not much to report right now, but I'm able to see a sliver of the silver lining.
Lol...but you wouldn't know it from these lyrics:
"Blow Away"
Live in my head for just one day
I see myself and look away
The road is showing now on my face
Soon I'll disappear
I'll disappear without a fucking trace
[Chorus]
Faces that I've seen turn old and grey
I've lost too many friends along the way
Memories I never thought would fade
They fade and blow away
I wish that I could disappear
Unzip my skin and leave it here
So I could be no one again
And never let nobody,
I'd let nobody
I'd let nobody in
[Chorus]
So now the walls are closing in
Because in life you sink or swim
Sometimes these shoes don't feel right in my head
Feel like a book that can't be read,
A book that can't be,
A book that can't be read
[Chorus]
"Fray"
i know that it never goes away
all i feel, everything i'm not today
so i try and i try to make everything right
i don't feel like i'm doing it, it affects me
[chorus]
you wouldn't listen even if i told you
what the fuck am i to say?
you're too busy with the lies they sold you
another cure to fix your day
open wide for all the shit they feed you
while the TV defecates
and blindly walk wherever they will lead you
while the edges slowly fray
i know that everything can change
what i need is to open up again
so never again will i look back in vain
cuz today's not the past,
i don't need to relive it
[chorus]
are you satisfied?
i've given all i can and are you pacified
or do you want more from me?
[chorus]
i've learned that this life's not just a game
just a line between the pleasures and the pain
[chorus]
