C'est la vie

Monday, March 28, 2005

i don't know

yeah, so...i don't know what's going on...so i decided to use no capitalization for this blog...yes i know this makes no sense, but i'm okay with that. so yeah...what am i so unsure about?? pretty much everything. i don't know about school, about work, about friends, about vacations, about boys (stupid boys) or about about the future. i am having some serious doubts about nearly everything in my life right now.--> That was written a couple of weeks ago and I didn't have time to finish it. Good thing because I am a lot better these days. I am a little more confused about most individual things, the big picture looks a lot clearer.
So yeah, why the neglected blog?? It's become too much of a hassle to use others or school just to write out blogs, but guess what?! The new computer comes tomorrow and so all will be good and I'll be bloggin' normally again. As for tonight I am just pretty much avoiding studying at school.
So yeah...my Easter was a good one. I must confess it was a little weird having Dan, a guy I don't even know all that well, at our family party. It went all good and he seemed to enjoy himself, it was just a little weird. We had a good time and even though the UK game was a disappointment (Sends was right, they just didn't want it enough in the end) Easter ended on a good note.
I've been doing better in school this semester (knock on wood) than I have the last couple, but I'm still struggling with what I want to do. I know that I want to work with children, but do I really want to teach children?? I think back to when I was thinking about Psychology or Social Work and I know that those interest me more than teaching, but are the real reasons I decided against them because of too much school and, how was it Bryon put it "too much school and money to make shit in the end"? I'm not in teaching for the money, that's for sure, but I can have a job right out of college and not have to be in school for as long. I still have a awile to graduate, but what if I'm not ready to "grow up" by then. The next two years are gonna fly by, I know and then it'll be time for my internship year. I've already been in college for 3 years and they have flown by, so I'm confident that the next two will be even faster. I don't know, hopefully by then I'll be ready to slow down and worry about more important things than having fun.
I must confess I'm also a little concerned about my friends growing up faster than me and being more prepared for the "real world". Fay said in his blog that he's worred about what his friends will do if they need him while he's away at college. My first thoughts were that I would have Brea-Anne and Dave to fall on. But Dave's graduating this Dec. and Brea next spring, so they will have more important things to worry about than me. That's a little scary for me. So yeah I'm not sure...just kinda depressed myself...oh well....shit happens